Obama Alters Campaign Paraphernalia
Last week, the Supreme Court handed down a couple 5-4 decisions, yet again showcasing the importance of the upcoming election. Liberal justices John Paul Stevens and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, both appointed during the Taft administration, will probably opt to either retire or die within the next eight years. Also, it’s rumored that David Souter will seek early retirement, presumably to work on self-defense, or at least to move to a safer place than Washington, D.C.
Speaking of, one of the Court’s decisions was to overturn the District’s handgun ban, to which Obama gave his tepid and qualified support. His disagreement with the decision to strike down the use of death penalty on child rapists was much more clear.
In light of these recent policy changes, Obama’s marketing team has been scrambling to update campaign materials, including backdrops, bumper stickers, and t-shirts. Obama announced the new paraphernalia while standing at a podium emblazoned with a red, white, and blue sign that said, “Change…?”
“Red states, blues states, love, puppies,” Obama said. “And don’t forget rainbows, but not the gay ones.”
The crowd responded with thunderous applause and chants of “Sure, I suppose it’s a possibility!”
When I asked Obama to comment on this recent trend of moving towards popular positions rather than clearly explaining his principled viewpoint as he has done in the past, he yelled out, “Yeah! What that guy said! Here’s some candy!” Then, after handing me a piece of hard candy with a ribbon attached that said “Obama ’08, Pretty Please,” he grabbed a torch and a pitchfork and ran off to join a crowd, murmuring something about monsters as he sprinted away.
ha he hooo boy.